a safe place

i've been doin' some thinking.
and some watching.
and some listening.
and some more thinking.


i've been wanting a 'safe' place really badly.


it makes sense.
there's changes that feel really big,
there were some personal things that were really hard,
and there's been challenges right and left.
i'd really like some sturdy footing and just a plain ol' safe place.


and this weekend i figured it out.


it's funny how slow a learner i can be sometimes.


it's me that has to give it to me.


i mean, for real.


i've been looking for it in other places.


please. please. just hand me a safe place and keep it steady.


yeah.
right.


the 'just hand me' part shoulda been a dead give away.
not gonna happen.
the 'just hand me' stuff never seems to quite work out.


finally coming to realize that it's me who needs to give it to me right now.
that other times i can find it in many different places, but right now,
i think the only place i'm really really gonna feel it is with me giving it to me.


finally, i really understood that.
it wasn't just a thought or a nudging myself.
i finally understood it.


and it fit it with all the many whisperings i've been hearing inside myself lately.


so i've put together a little plan.
certain things i can do to work on giving me that safe place feeling.


what incredibly wonderful plans to make!
and i got excited.


it'd be kinda nice to create what it is i'm looking for.


yeah.
how come it took me so long to come to that???
specially with the messages i've been getting over and over and over and over again....
pay attention to who you are, love who you are.....


bam.
make a space for who you are.
make it safe.
make it nurturing.


seems so obvious now.


what took me so long??



i'm really looking forward to this......