Tuesday, November 12, 2013

a cup of tea post for the newsletter....

i like to call november 'gratitude month.' it figures as i tend to stretch
holidays out as much as i can. i mean, i celebrate my birthday for a month,
so why not give thanksgiving equal billing?!

seems like a month of concentrating on gratitude is a good plan.

and something i've been noticing is that without even trying, i'm feeling
a whole ton of absolute joy poppin' gratitude.

in ways that are a little unusual for me.

like fall -
i love fall.
always feel grateful for fall.

but this fall, it's different.
it's magnified.
it's more like my own personal jewel.
i've watched it come in.
i've watched it, delighted in it and rooted it on.
i've talked with it, sang with it and danced with it.
the raking of the leaves has been a highlight in my life.
and i can't figure out if i'm losing my mind or really touching living,
or maybe both.

i've been shouting out about the leaves and the joy of raking them for weeks now.
raking at nite has become something to run out and relish.
who cares if you can't see the leaves? you're out there in the dark making wonderful
swishing noises with your rake with the moon looking on and the stars whispering
secretes to you.

or maybe it's the morning raking. watching the sun come up as you talk to the trees.
that's pretty darn awesome as well.

and now that i think about it – so is the afternoon raking with the blue skies and the
chilly breezes.

and the more i rake, the less it looks like i raked!
my yard is the messiest on the block, and i rake more than anyone in the neighborhood.

something isn't quite right.
and yet, something is so absolutely right,
it's beyond right - it's stunning.

and i'm trying to figure it out.
learn from it.
grab it and take it into the rest of my life.

but what is it???

the best i can come up with is i'm not hung up on any goal, or outcome or
expectation. i am just delighted that the fall and i are here together.

i am just delighted that i get to be here with the season.

oh man.
can you imagine if i could just grab that and feel that everywhere?
think of the stress level!
why, it'd be gone!

think of all the differences it would make!

i do.
i think of it and think i should do that.

but that's the thing -
it's not something i 'should' do.......

the leaves and the autumn and my joy of them just happened.
no plans, no trying.

i just muddled my way right into this space.

and i'm figurin' that tryin' too hard could mess it all on up.

so i won't.

i'll just keep raking and listening.

cause something happens when i rake -
i hear things.


i AM losing my mind.

i hear things.
things about what matters in life,
things about how lucky i am.
and one time? i heard that even when i don't feel love right around me,
i am loved more than i can ever even imagine.

and i'm kinda thinking these are universal things -
things we'd all hear if we listened.

so maybe i can't figure it out. and maybe i'll only feel this way for a short time
and it'll slip away – but for now – i want to dance with the autumn and remember
what a gift it is to be here.


Anonymous said...

“The key to knowing joy is being easily pleased.”
― Mark Nepo

Remember, he's our man!

Diane in AR said...

love your blog and the comment/quote here as well - joy, joy,joy!!!

and you're not crazy, just joyous!


terri st. cloud said...

smilin' at ya both....