softening

there's no way to escape it, is there?
life just does a number on ya.
no matter who you are or where you were born/raised.

it's the nature of living.

and we learn to toughen to get thru.

i see this a lot.
and i've lived it.

we toughen.
we have to.
but then there comes a time when we need to remember to soften.

way early on in my journey with bone sighs, i understood part of this.
i wrote a bone sigh about it

'there was a time the ice had saved her.
now only the thaw could.'

i'm thinking now tho, there's levels to that.
and i'm thinking this is really important.

and maybe having gotten thru the stuff that broke us open,
we need to keep looking to the softening.

ohhhhhh but wait - i can feel the protest inside me now -
it's not like there's just one thing you have to get thru,
it's not like there's just one event that will break you open
and then you're home free.

it's not like that.
life keeps dishing things out that make you want to toughen.

that make you think you have to toughen.

but i'm thinking if you've been broken open,
truly broken open,
and toughened to get thru,
maybe the wisdom to take from that journey is the understanding
that you can trust yourself.

you did what you had to do.
you can trust yourself.

maybe that's such a deep wisdom to take away from that.
and if you have that, or even just a tiny glimpse of that -
a real trust of yourself -
maybe you bring that to the idea of softening.
and maybe you mix the two.

because maybe the combination of trust in yourself,
and softening your heart once again,
brings strength that you can't even imagine.