magic and mystery

there's a story i want to tell.
and yet, i can't.
because it's not just mine to tell.

i thought maybe i could tell it in a roundabout way -
and so i sat to try to figure out how to do that.

i meandered this way and that, tried this and discarded that,
and finally got to a spot where i saw how incredibly awesome it was to be a woman.

maybe that's what's the bottom line of the whole story, i thought.

and then i thought about it a little more.
no.
that's not quite it.

i think the bottom line is about how amazing it is to be human - not just
a woman - but human because we get to live this mysterious journey filled
with magic. and that's not limited to women.

i think that's it.
i think that's the bottom line of this story that i can't really tell.

it's a story filled with the stuff of life - silliness and joy, growth and pain,
sorrow and maturing, learning and understanding, shame and forgiveness,
love so deep and love so shallow. and here and there, sprinkled thru out
the whole way is magic and mystery.

it's a story of how people connect so close, and then drift apart.
and while apart, they travel roads that grow them in ways they couldn't imagine.
and it's because of what one learned thru her own deep pain, that she reached out
to the other. and the other trusted and reached back.

could the reaching out have happened if the one had not learned what she
did from the pain of her travels?
i honestly don't know.

what an interesting question that is for me.
i do know the pain gave her the understanding that led her to reach.

and there was a reaching back.

could the reaching back have happened if not for such a strong spirit that had
become stronger and stronger thru her own journey with pain?

again, i honestly don't know.......and am intrigued by the question.

the finding of each other was magic.
the trust was magic.
the discovering of similar thoughts and feelings and sorrows and joys was magic.

and i think the magic was noticed and appreciated -
but maybe it wasn't until the latest piece of mystery showed up that it really felt
like time to stop and honor it all.

how is it possible that on top of all the rest,
a visual of the white tree was shared by both?
how is it possible that when both were lost and searching and asking for help,
thru their different ways, they both saw themselves as a white tree?

one described her white tree as 'burnt, charred, hacked and carved in.'
the other described her white tree as 'struck by lightning.'

visuals that were so strong and so deep to two who hadn't reconnected yet.
to be shared years later in wonderment and awe.

how is that even possible?

there are  moments in life that the sheer mystery and depth of the gift of
living knocks me to my knees.

the odd part is, i get up again, lose those moments, and get stuck in small
insignificant happenings. you would think i'd stop doing that. but i guess that's
part of the whole human thing i'm talkin' about.

and maybe, that even adds to it all.
because no matter how many times i forget,
one big ol' hunk of magic will come along and knock me to my knees again.

it is with such reverence for living that i kneel today.
and bow my head in gratitude for this gift i've been given.

and it is with great reverence that i honor the white tree image that quite
possibly many people carry deep inside them.

may we all remember our holiness.
and may we all remember the sacredness of living.