a birthday thought

i feel like i've learned so many things lately!
it took me a while to pick which one i wanted to share here.

but i figured this one, in a way, includes them all -
and it's really fitting for a birthday share as it's about growing old.

i'm 53 this year.
so, yeah, growing older does come to mind a bit.
i watch the elderly and try to learn things from them.
and something i've been seeing over and over again is that the older folks
who i really didn't want to end up like had something in common -

their worlds had shrunk.

things like junk mail in the mail box had become major concerns,
small things needed to be done right then and if not, it was a cause for upset.
other people's stories didn't matter anymore, just their own.

that kinda thing.

and then there are the really cool old people who inspire me.
and sure enough - look at that - they are still trying to learn things,
still reaching out beyond themselves, don't say things like 'i'm too old.'
don't wait for someone to reach out to them, they are fine with reaching out first.

that kinda thing.

their worlds aren't shrinking.

as i thought about that, i realized that while it may be magnified with older people,
this holds true with everyone on the planet, no matter what age. the people i like
have big worlds. the shrunken world people are not really my cup of tea.

we need to keep learning, reaching out beyond ourselves, asking questions,
inquiring about others, and putting the small things down and understanding the
things that really matter in life.

i mean, we really do.
or at least, i think i really do.

i've spent a lot of this past month focusing on what matters in my life,
seeing the people i care about and love - really trying to see them, appreciating
the gifts i'm given daily. i have consciously been working on this.

it was spurred on by the death of an older person i cared about.
he died totally alone. he died a death i hope i'll never have. and his passing
woke me up to paying attention to what mattered - to focusing.

so taking all that, and this birthday thought i have today, i'm standing here with
a really powerful combination of focusing on my life, and not focusing on my life.
focusing on inner things inside me so i can let go of those things and open to the
whole world even better.

of seeing what i've got, of knowing what matters, and of reaching beyond all that
to keep growing and learning and loving deeper and deeper.

it's just a wonderful combination of focusing and yet letting go, and stretching and deepening.
it's kinda a mix of opposites. or a mix of everything.

and that's the birthday thought i wanted to share.

and well........that's the birthday thought i'd love to live........