pondering

so i've been thinking about something -

i started to type out a big long thing trying to explain it.
but gosh, i realized it could be taken so wrong and that trying
to explain it fully would take volumes.

so i thought maybe i'd just shoot to the bottom line -

i've been pondering what makes our presence matter here on this planet.

i started out thinking that maybe it's what we offer.
but nah, that led down roads that didn't work.
so no.
but yes too....

no, in i don't think anyone's got to DO anything to have their presence count.

but yes, in that i think we have to be who we are - or at least a little bit of
who we are. that it's our offering of ourselves that makes a difference to those
around us. it's us being us that gives light to the world.

even if it's just offering our real to one person in our life.

sounds simple enough, right?
and maybe it is.

but maybe for the first time i see that that doesn't always have to happen.
that someone can lose themselves so completely that they don't have
any real to offer anymore. and i see such tragedy in that.

and i see how much that matters.
and it reminds me of how much i want my own real to be present in my life.

i can't tell anyone else how to live.
but i can learn so much from what others choose.

and now i'm thinking - wouldn't it be cool that if when we pass there's a flickering of light going out -
one tiny little flicker. cause we had added that tiny little light to the world?
i want to make the light flicker when i leave.
and i think the only way to do that is to step into who i truly am.

and that's what i'm pondering today....