hope

yesterday someone asked me the question 'why do i hope?'
good question, isn't it?

here's what i came up with.....

Reasons that couldn't stand the test of time and the weariness of life
were the very first reasons that I believed in hope. Beliefs that things
always turned out right in the end, and good always prevailed. Those beliefs
gave me hope. But when I reached a certain age, those beliefs were shattered
within me. I saw things not always end 'right' and good get trampled to shreds.
For a little while there, that shattering devastated me. The colors went out of my world.
I was lost.

But after awhile i realized that there were other things in some of the darkest places
besides that darkness that was so overwhelming.  I saw people survive when the odds
were against them. And I saw people do more than survive, I saw them become more
than who they were when they entered the darkness. Not everyone, no. But some.
Some truly bright and amazing souls who were like blazing torches to me. I knew I had
a choice - focus on the blackness or stare into the light.

I feel like hope was burned into me in that time of my life.

The young and innocent beliefs I had carried so many years before turned into a deep
and strong belief in the capacity of our human spirit, and yes, of the strength of love.
I know now that things don't always end 'right' and that good doesn't always win.
But I also know that the power of our authentic selves shared openly and honestly
has a strength that is beyond comprehension.I know that love has a power beyond me,
and one I don't always understand, but it is always something I need to hold. I know that
I am alive when I hope and I am dead inside when I give that away. And I know that I
never want to live without it again.