Wednesday, August 27, 2014

my energy had gotten heavy.
i noticed it and wasn't liking it.

things like getting tired easily.
or not laughing as much.
or just plain ol' feelin' heavy.
or dwelling on the negative.

'i need to raise my energy' i announced to my family.
and yeah, i did.
but so?
what the heck you gonna do to do that?
i didn't know.

but i was aware of it.
so i tried things.
tried to laugh more,
tried to enjoy more.
tried to appreciate more.
tried to just keep moving around more.

but it was just that - trying -
not always pulling it off.
and when i pulled it off, still not feeling the realness of it.
and i wasn't sure how good trying was gonna be without the realness.

but that's the reason i was trying -
i didn't have the realness.
so i didn't see any other choice.

and now i'm thinking trying and moving around are a good combo -
even when it feels too forced.

because today i feel totally different than i have for days!

i do believe i've had an energy shift.

and i'm thinking a lot of it has to do with trying to shift it.
feels good.

there's times i'm legitimately gonna just feel down.
and i need to allow those times.
but there are times something's just stuck inside that needs
a little jostling......

i want to know when to jostle, and how to jostle.

you'd think i'd know by now.
but i'm just learning........


Diane in AR said...

Oh I know that heavy-energyless feeling. . .and gravity pulls everything down with it - mood, corners of your mouth - everything. . .but, being aware - well that's the start to the cure for sure!!! Jostling - we all need to do that more - and say it more, it's such a cool word!! Thanks Ter!!

margy said...

Terri, you may have just had that heavy-energyless feeling, but I'm here to say you have some kind of cosmic energy that goes out to so many of us - so many times your bonesighs are so appropriate for happenings and feelings that I'm going through also. The last few days I've been ruminating over someone else's problems, and after being unable to get the thoughts out of my consciousness, got up at 3am and read some Eckhart Tolle's "A New Earth" (recommended in one of your sighs!)- helped get the thoughts out, me back to sleep, and now having a better, more energetic morning than I've had in several days . . . so once again, thanks for being you and being here!

terri st. cloud said...

i love how you love words with me, diane! awe'll jostle together! nd margy, you sweetie, it's so hard to let go of someone else's stuff when we care. i feel for ya! so glad the book helped you and you got back to sleep.
you have such a big heart. take good care of it.