a little help from viktor...

so it's kinda an odd combination goin' on over here.
a day i vowed to laugh a lot - cause i wanted/needed laughter.
and the same day i pulled viktor frankl's 'man's search for meaning'
off my book shelf.

i had to step back from the world last week.
and here and there i timidly try to step back in.
but not much.
not long.
not really.

i'm not ready yet.

so i found my hand reaching for that book,
and i nodded.

yeah.
help me out, viktor.

and he did.

i browsed all the pages i had dog-eared
and the underlines and the paragraphs with stars near them...
and i soaked in what he had to say.

it turns out i'd really have to type long passages out to share,
so i think i'm just gonna say the one thing that hit me the most -
kinda just put it in my own words and how it applies to me now -

there is a ton of suffering.
and it's important to face up to it.
to not minimize it or to try to make it look better than it is.
it is something to 'go thru' - because it's that journey thru that
matters a lot....in the journey you find meaning and courage,
and wisdom.

and that tears were okay. that we shouldn't dwell there, but that
they were good and they 'bore witness that a man had the greatest
of courage, the courage to suffer.'

i think too, they show compassion. and that in itself matters.

his words reminded me that it is indeed a journey.
and it's our choice if we find meaning to our journey or not.
and as it turns out, finding meaning seems to help you survive.

all of which i kinda needed to read this morning.
and now i feel like i can let the playfulness really take hold of me,
while this stuff simmers on the backburners of my mind.