one of those days

what an interesting day.

i've just been sad.

just sad.

which is okay.

sad is part of the season as well.

and i know it'll lift and joy will come running back in.
i honestly know that.

so i've been watching the sad.

i sat at a stop light at one point today
and looked across the road at the brown tree arms reaching up to the blue sky.
they were the perfect hues - my favorites.

i looked up at them and thought - 'can you see the beauty there, terri?
can you still see it and hold it?'

so i consciously stopped to hold it.
and i could.
and i thought how incredible it was that there was such beauty
all around me and how hard it was to keep seeing it when
my eyes were heavy with sad.

i know i missed a ton of beauty today.
but i did see that.
and i held it.

and i thought that was cool.

later, walking outside, i leaned my head back and breathed in the mild air.
it felt so good.

and i realized how lucky i was that i wasn't so sad that i couldn't still
feel or see these things.

i knew there were times that was just too hard.

i thought of some of the really heartbreaking emails i've had lately
from people experiencing incredible grief.

it would take them a long time before they noticed the trees and the sky
or felt the mild air and breathed it in.

but the beauty will be there when they're ready to see it again.
it will be there waiting.

and that thought right there made me tear up with gratitude.