alone

i got a tiny tad of a cold the last few days.
nothing serious, just enough to make me cancel all my plans and lay low.
i was sad about missing some of the plans.
i really didn't want to miss them.
but at the same time, i got something i hadn't had the whole holiday season-
time alone.

i wrote this last nite as i lay in bed.
wanted to share.

......

alone.
i needed this time alone.
doing nothing in particular.
talking to myself when i please.
laughing out loud over my own jokes.
crying quietly over my own thoughts.
taking care of myself and being gentle with myself.
just wandering in a space that is safe. that is home.
and now as i lay here all alone,
i hear the wind chimes singing in the wind.
oh, they're singing with gusto.
the ran tap dancing against my house -
with such joy even the walls feel it.
it pours down louder and heavier,
adding to the coziness i feel under my quilt.
alone.
i needed this time alone.
cause it's moments like this i remember god.
i hear god in the rain when i'm alone.
i hear god in the wind chimes.
sometimes when i'm alone, i'm the least alone i could possibly be.