light

i had been tryin' to get to the shower.
but it just wasn't workin'.
there was an update on our website -
and a lotta glitches to work out.
(we now have SHIPPING OPTIONS! including $2.00 shipping)
when there was finally a break in the chaos,
i headed for the shower.

but not just any shower.
i've taken quite a liking to candlelight showers with music.

ohmygosh.

talk about luxury.

something i want to do this year is to pay attention to all the luxury available to me.
i don't make a lotta money. and i don't have a lotta extras.
at least, that's kinda been my thinking the last few years. until a brick landed
on my brain and i realized how incredibly luxurious i DO have it. just the
fact that i have clean water and heat is sayin' a lot. and somewhere along the line,
i figured this out. and i've been payin' attention.

that's one of the reasons i love these showers so much -
i realize how darn lucky i am when i take them.

so there i was - basking in luxury - and feelin' like the queen of the world -
hot steamy water, music that inspires me, and candles.

wow.

at one point i glanced down at the candle.
then i closed my eyes and leaned back into the hot water.
and i could just see the flame inside of me.
i could just feel the flame.

for a brief moment, i WAS the flame.

man.

it occurred to me that i was pretty darn lucky to be able to just get up from
my desk at work, and go turn into a candle flame in the shower,
and then go back to my desk.

what a life!

one of the songs i was listening to was about being the change we want to
see in the world. being the light in the dark.
shining on the darkest days.

that's so hard.
especially when they're our own darkest days.
but i keep thinking about it, and holding it in my mind.
i would so love to be able to be the light for myself even in my own dark.
but for now, i'm thanking the universe i have plenty of friends who are
filled with light and don't hesitate to shine it my way.

here's to light, to filling with it, to shining it, to offering it,
and yes......to needing it.