Thursday, March 19, 2015

gonna try to remember......

there's something i've watched enough to believe in and to know.
thing is, a lotta times i don't want to acknowledge it.
cause it requires that i work more than i may want to.
and yet, the benefits are worth the work.
so why oh why do i drag my feet?

if only i knew of an elixir that took my laziness away.

so what is it i know?

that by focusing on the gratitude
and not wallowing in the unsatisfied,
my whole life changes.

we've all heard it.
so much so it verges on the trite.
thing's way way cool.
and way way powerful.

i know it.
i watch it.
i know there's power in it for every thing and every one around me.

and when i'm doin' good, it's so easy.
i can see it and act upon it and revel in it.
those are the easy, good times.

it's when i'm not doin' so good that i don't wanna do it.
it's not that i don't believe in it,
but there's something deep inside of me that wants to wallow.
that wants to focus on the parts of me that are feelin' like they
didn't get what they wanted.

honestly, sometimes i wanna dope slap myself.

i am pretty darn sure that if i stuck with this and did this in the hard times,
so much of my life would change.

and i'm pretty darn sure it takes muscle to do this.

i can't really figure out why.
why it's so hard.
why the strong deep desire to wallow.

but it's there.

i think there's a strong deep desire to keep things as i've know them.

and again, i wanna do the dope slap.

i'm doin' good now.
it all seems so easy.
and yet i know.
i've been down the road so many times before.
i won't keep this.
i will want to turn from the gratitude.
i'll focus on the unmet wants or whatever.

thing is, i'm thinking hard about it right now.
and i'm gonna try really hard to be aware of it.
and to remember this is my choice.
even when life throws something at me.
it's my choice.

and i'm gonna work on flexing my muscles and doin' work
that really doesn't have to be work - if only i can just learn that.

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