just thinking...

there's something that's growing in my heart.
i'm not sure how to describe it -

it has to do with the beauty of having a quiet belief in ourselves.

i was going to type that it's such a fine line to walk with the staying open and
hearing different points of view, and staying strong in yourself.
that they seem to conflict with each other.

but as i think about it, i don't think that's true.

i think doing that - the staying open to all kindsa thoughts - IS staying strong in yourself.
you're genuinely opening to what's around you and learning from all directions.
and THAT does make you strong.
and if you listen to your inner voice at the same time,
what an incredible combination that can be.

and here's the thing -
it's a quiet strength.

you're too busy being strong to be loudly proclaiming how strong you are.

and i think right now that's what i'm craving.
not just in myself,
but in those around me.

i don't want to hear you tell me you're incredible or beautiful.
or have the answers and can teach me about life and living.

i want you to BE incredible and beautiful.
just quietly be it.
i want you to teach me about life and living by the way you live your life.

i  don't want to be dazzled with your wisdom that you lay at my feet,
but rather dazzle me with the wisdom you live out during your days.

i don't need you to tell me.
i can see.

and as i think about it, the people i truly admire never tell me how amazing they are.
they're too busy learning and growing and being to bother.

i want to be strong in myself.
so strong that i don't need anyone else to tell me i'm strong.
i just am.
and i just do my thing.
and i'm COMFORTABLE doing my thing.
that's an important part.
and keep tryin' to learn from those around me.

that quiet strength is so appealing to me right now.

i don't find the other as strong. it seems a desperate attempt to be something.
rather than just being.

there's something zennish mixed up in here.
and today, i keep thinking that i just want to grow my inner strength for me.
and my inner comfortableness.
i want that too.
for me.
just for me.
and i want to quietly live it.