sigh

there has been so much goin' on lately
that i honestly have no idea where to start.
it's like when you want to catch someone up on your life,
but the days have been too packed.
where do you begin?!

i think i'll start with a continuation from a post
that's three posts down - ( a light bulb)
which had the basic message of when we become adults,
we can't expect people who are hurting us to stop it.
it's up to us to stop the harm.

it's up to us to stop the harm.

i have been telling myself that over and over as there has been
more than one person lately that i've wanted to kick to the moon
for their harmful dysfunctions.

there's a voice in me that keeps saying something like this -
'fine. be a dysfunctional mess. fine. just keep it to yourself.
stop hurting the people around you.'

and then i remember, that's not how it works and the people i'm
concerned with are old enough to sort thru it. altho, some just barely.
sigh.
but still, old enough to learn to protect themselves.
they don't need me to kick people to the moon.
and i know their journey thru this will make them stronger and deeper.

but still.
honestly.
i just wish people would take their harmful dysfunctions to their own personal island.

or better yet - to the net.
(awhile ago i decided that there are some people i just wish would drop
off the planet. i don't want harm to come to them, i just want them to
disappear. so i imagined a big net on the side of the earth they could just
drop into. they have since been dubbed 'netters' around my house.)

they don't go away tho. they don't drop into a net.
and sometimes for various reasons, they stay somewhat in our lives.

i understand that.
i just don't like it.

tho, when i sit myself down and think it thru, i realize what great teachers
these people are for those of us learning to stop the harm.

and i believe that.

life isn't about being all easy and happy.
it's about growing and learning and really understanding so that when
we do have joy, it's the deep deep real joy that living offers.

so, yeah, i remember that.
and i calm down.
and then i repeat to anyone who will listen -
it's up to us to learn, to grow, and to stop the harm.