peaceful and stable? nahhhh

i had pretty much stopped listening to her.
she reminded me too much of someone i missed
a lot.

but i don't know, maybe i'm needing to feel
close to that someone these days, and maybe
it's also because melissa survived cancer,
and i need that too....

i don't know, but for some reason i keep seeking
out melissa etheridge at the oddest moments.

i got discouraged today. and i didn't want to
be discouarged today. and so i went and dug up
some of my favorite melissa songs on youtube.

i got filled with good energy.

i listened to her talk about her journey thru
life, thru cancer....and her wanting to change
the world....to do something to make a difference.

i got filled with that too.
me too, i thought!
and laughed.
okay, maybe not quite as much as melissa....
but in my own corner anyway.....

a note popped in my mail box. a friend who has
known me for TWENTY years commented on a facebook
status i had put up saying i was mixed up.

and she said that i was the most stable person
she knew.

and i just stopped.
and i said out loud to no one in the room....

you have GOT to be kidding me.

someone just wrote a 'press release' for me for
an event i'm attending next month and she wrote
things as if i had said them about my art.
and the last thing she included was quoting me
as describing my art as something like
'rainbows from a peaceful heart.'

i so appreciated her writing this thing for me...
and i just didn't want to be picky. i just told
her maybe we could leave that one out....

'my heart's never peaceful.'

and i laughed.

that's not true.
there's peace in there at times....

but well.....it's usually pretty full of waves.

peaceful?
stable???

well..let's just stick with 'alive and full.'

i'm over here grinning.

peaceful?
stable?

nahhhhh.....

but i'm okay with that.
cause i'm learning how to ride the waves
better and better.....