a note from an angel....

i was a little bit down. and i kept thinking of
my science experiment....'TOW.'

see, i haven't forgotten it.......for one week..
up til thursday, do all i can to trust, open,
and be who i want to be.

well, yeah, sounds nice.
been a lotta work on this end tho.
i've done good. but then i hit one spot where
i just kinda shut down.
i saw it. was aware of it. was aware of my science
experiment and watched.

i didn't want to FORCE myself with stuff. i wanted
to push some limits....but not force myself.

so i watched. and i kept an eye on my goal....
and i did it. not in a matter of moments. it took
awhile.

but i saw the process. i had to think thru things,
figure out how i felt. all of that stuff.

then when i finally hit my open and trusting spot,
i heard from a really good friend some really sad
news.

my heart was heavy when i got in the shower last
nite. i tried to wash off some of the closing down
i was feeling.

this morning i felt pretty sad as i sat down to
my computer. it's the day i help out with a chemo
appointment....and there's a few other things sittin'
on my shoulders and i just felt sad.

i looked at my note to myself to remind me to trust,
open and be who i want to be.

yeah.
right.

then i got a note from an angel.
she sent me oriah mountain dreamer's poem called
the invitation.
if you don't know it, you want to.

it's like the universe sent my friend.......
she knew the chemo appointment was today.
last thing she said in her note was 'be open.'

so that's when the tears hit.

i'm printing out the poem and bringing it with me
today.

and i'm gonna be open.

cause an angel came and reminded me today.......