care taking

so i have the model patient.

i'm in love with him.
i'm enjoying having him around.
and he's being really good.
and! it can't last much longer.

it's the perfect set up for taking
care of someone.

and it's making me think of care givers.
my gosh.

i listed four things there that made him
the model patient.
so i'm thinking of having a patient where
you have none of those things on the list.

and just the thought makes me weary.

everything's a little bit different here.
and it's hard to get anything done.
just having things a bit different, means
it's different for everyone in the house,
so i make sure everyone's doin' okay.
that takes energy.
it all takes energy.

what if you're doin' this full time,
tryin' to keep some sense of self and life,
and tryin' to remember that you count too?
AND you don't have that list of things to
make you okay with it all???

i think of several friends of mine who are
doin' that.....and the sense of appreciation
i have for them is huge right now.

this morning i thought 'i'd go crazy if this
was my life.'....thing is...you never know, ter...
one day it might be.....

so what would i do?

and i realized i would have to adjust my entire
mindset.

that i would have to recreate my entire life.
cause trying to squeeze your life in between
seems like a recipe for insanity.

that i would have to really re-evaluate and
completely change it to something that works
for everyone.

wow.
i had never thought of that before.

i wonder if anyone who's being taken care of
has ever thought about that for the people
around them. i mean, REALLY thought of that.

i think we think things like 'i just asked
them for a glass of water, that's not a big
deal.' instead of things like 'they have to
readjust their entire lives here.'

i'm lucky enough my job's easy this go around.
but it's got me thinking about it all.
appreciating those out there who live this life.
and also wanting to remember this if i'm ever
the one being cared for.

caretakers of the world, you have my respect!