surrounding her

a friend of mine is in a really rough spot.
there's stuff being hurt so deeply inside that
she's spinning.

she's shared a few bits and pieces of it with
me and some of her other friends. and my whole
body reacts as i read her notes.

i think i know some of the feelings she's having.
i think i've been in a similar place. and it's
a dark one.

two people closest to her are fillin' her with
garbage ideas about herself. i read that and my
own experiences with that trash came tumbling back
thru my mind.

it IS garbage. and it IS trash.

and sometimes, for some of us, it takes all our
strength to know that.

i kinda maybe knew it. i kinda had it floatin'
around inside me that it was trash. i must have
or i don't think i could be here right now.
but i took pieces of the trash and held them as
mine.

i look back at that today and wonder how i could
have. and i realize how far i've come from those
days. i know it will never happen again. and i also
know it had to happen then.

now i sit and watch someone i think is one of the
most beautiful people i know, hear garbage and
i'm wonderin' if she's holding pieces. and i want
to run down there and knock those pieces out of her
hand and tell her not to take them. don't take them.
don't believe them. THEY ARE NOT YOURS.

thing is, i believe in her. i know her. she's strong
and she's wise and she's beautiful, and she'll figure
it out.

and i look back at my own process.
no one could have knocked it out of my hands and told
me. i HAD to figure this stuff out on my own.

but there were a precious few who surrounded me in love.
and who assured me over and over that i wasn't broken,
that i didn't need fixing, and that i wasn't damaged.
over and over they told me.

i think i needed that. i think i needed to find my belief
for myself while i leaned hard on people who did believe
in me too.

i had a precious circle. and when i got really scared,
i surrounded myself in that circle.

i saw her do that yesterday. she created a circle, and
got in it.

and we surrounded her with love and belief.

what i hope she sees is that there's a reason that circle
exists. there's a reason this group of strong and loving
women is there.

SHE is that reason.
the circle could not exist without her and her beauty.

and that's what i'm hopin' she feels. even if it's way down
deep and she's not real sure yet.

SHE is the reason we ran to her side in our hearts and held
her.

these people who are hurting her....they play huge roles in
her life. that's the power they hold. and they can hold a
lot of power if she lets them.

over and over i've been chanting in my heart and praying for
her 'don't let them take away who you are.'

don't let them take away who you are.

don't let them take away who you are.