Monday, March 29, 2010

gearin' up for easter

So i know i've been in an intense place because
every single song i hear, no matter what song it is,
has moved me so much the fast days.

i think 'oh my gosh, this song is what i'm feeling'
and then a totally different song in a totally
different genre with a totally different mood comes
on, and i think the same thing!

think that means i'm a whirlwind of emotions lately.

in the weeks before easter, i always try to put on
'jesus christ superstar' and listen to that a bit.
gets me in the easter mood. it's one of my all time
favorite pieces of music.

it has just been moving me to tears lately.
my favorite song has been my favorite song since i
was a teenager.

to this day, this song still gets to me way down
deep. it's the song where jesus is in the garden
and he's thinking he really would like god to take
the whole deal away. and then he kinda goes thru
these emotions and ends up sayin' okay, okay, okay.
i'll do it. knowing god 'holds every card.'

i was making dinner while josh sat at the table last
nite. he was restringing a guitar and chatting.
'oh, hold on. i gotta hear this.' i said, as it came
on and we turned it up.

i cooked, sang along and teared up.

i took a walk thinking about it today. and i just
put the song on yet again.

i love the internal struggle inside, and then the
releasing, and the knowing.

i love that.

easter. it's one heck of a holiday.
possibly my favorite in meaning. funny too as i'm
not a christian. kinda makes me smile.

anything is possible.
release and believe.
release and know.

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