Friday, July 30, 2010

living prayers......

oh! WHAT a gorgeous morning!
i tell ya, weather TOTALLY affects me.

ohhhhhhhh! it was my morning to take a walk
all alone! yo and i bike on the other mornings,
which i totally love and wouldn't trade for
anything.....but fridays are mine and i love
that too.

ahhhhh and it's gorgeous out.
i had a plan.
i wanted to spend some time all alone thinking
about being a living prayer.

this is the phrase that has caught my mind and
my heart, and this is something i wanted to
really explore.

rubbing my hands together like a kid, i slipped
on my shoes, closed the door behind me and
headed out for my special moment.

i'd barely taken any steps when i heard the
'good morning!'

it was my elderly neighbor sitting on her porch.

i turned into her driveway to say hello, telling
myself, 'it's okay, you have time. say hello.'

she commented on what a lovely morning it was for
a walk and how she'd like to take one too.

'want to go?' i asked her.
and she lit up.

she got right up to go get her walkin' shoes on.

i stood out on her car port thinking about my walk.
feelin' a little bummed that i was about to lose it.
but THIS, ter....THIS can be the living prayer part.

THIS right here.

i looked up at the clouds.
okay. i'll try it.

i thought about what i needed to do.
what do you do to be a prayer?
i didn't know as i hadn't figured any of it out yet!
but i did know a few things......
work from your center, stay in the light.
that much i knew.

and out she came.

we toddled down the road together talking of the
beautiful morning. turning into the new housing
development, i tried to gauge how much she was up
for.

not much.
the street that i wouldn't have noticed was uphill
because the slant was so gentle became very noticeable
as she breathed heavier next to me.

'want to turn around?' i asked.

and so we headed back.

'you probably wanted to go further' she said.

i had to grin.
we hadn't even really gone anywhere.

'nah,' i said. 'just feels good to be out here.'

i asked her what she was gonna do today.
'just sit.' she said.

'have any good thoughts while you're sitting?'
i asked her.

and she told me of the nites that were hard with
her thoughts.

we talked of those thoughts.
i had been thinking of her a lot lately. of how
lonely it must be for her at times. i wanted to
know what her thoughts were. i've been wondering.
she shared a bit...but she brought it back to the
morning.

i followed her and joined in the talk and worked
on making her smile.

as i walked her back up to her bench, i thought
hmmmmm..........'maybe if i head back home,
and keep goin' up the street, she'll never even
notice and i can get a little walk in on my own.'

as if she heard my thoughts she scooted over on
the bench and said 'sit down.'

i sat.

she looked over at me all beaming and said
'wasn't that just wonderful?!'

wow.

yeah.

yeah.

it was.

maybe being a prayer means you stop controlling.
ya know?
maybe you just flow.

maybe i got more of a lesson in this way than wandering
by myself tryin' to figure it out.

whatever i got......i got a moment with this woman who
won't be here forever. and i got the beams from her
face when she looked at me and said 'wasn't that just
wonderful?!'

maybe i wasn't the prayer.
maybe she was.

3 comments:

Pamela Jones said...

Amen.

Merry ME said...

I think you were both the prayer.
Ter, this is one of your best. Even if you still have miles to go in your "thinking" I think you've hit the nail on the head.

I'm not sure what the good witch said to Dorothy - her exact words - but it was along the lines of you had the power all the time. I believe you've got the knowledge all the time, you just need to use it.

You are the prayer. Always have been.

I agree with Pam. Amen

christie said...

I really loved this, in the warm, soft gentle type of way when it feels like love is quiet and responsive to what someone has said that reverberates through you as truth.