balancing

i tumbled out the door needing to see the
sky badly this morning! i landed in my
front yard with my arms wide open and
looked up at the sky.
ahhhhhhhhhhh.........

i remembered this song from years ago
that i just loved.
this woman sang about the sky being like
a lover to whom she always longed...to
whom she always belonged.

it rang thru my head as i looked up....

i needed the cold, the morning, the sky,
the walk.

it felt so good.

got a note from a friend this morning tellin'
me she thought i was bein' too hard on myself
with the brave stuff. (thanks, peggi)

she said bein' brave was just gettin' up and facin'
the day.

and i got to thinking about what my other friend
said over tea...
'you don't have to do it all at once, terri.'

mygosh.

right now i could put that in every single part
of my life and see how i'm tryin' hard to do it
all at once everywhere.....and that just doesn't
work!

and so i walked and thought about that.

called myself a dope.
then realized that wasn't real constructive.
grin.

so i told myself i just get a little
over zealous sometimes.

i like that term.
over zealous.
and yeah, that can be me.

that's a good thing.
not a dope.
but a good thing.

it just needs to be tweaked a bit, and guided.

at the same time, i've been thinking about balance.

thinking i needed more of it.

hmmmmmm.......this seems to be the same deal.

last year seemed like the year of 'acceptance' for
me (altho, that's gonna flow into this year as i never
got it down....)
but i'm thinking this year may be balance.

how does an over zealous dope learn balance???

i tell ya, i'd rather figure it out on my own
than have a ton of lessons thrust my way.

think i'll work on figurin' it out on my own.
soon!

not all at once......but soon!!!
maybe????