there were trucks everywhere this morning.
the neighborhood was positively buzzing.
they've been behind, i think. not on
schedule. at least, i thought the trees
would be down long before now.
they've marked with their spray paint...
way further up than i thought they'd be....
and each morning i see those marks and cringe.
as they kept driving by this morning, i felt
how tense i was. i don't want them to do this
to my neighborhood.
i made a point of looking at every single one
of these guys wanderin' around my neighborhood.
i don't want to hate them. it's not them.
and so i looked at each one and smiled and said
and i walked faster to walk the fear out of me.
fear of having everything different and hating it.
fear of losing trees i love and feeling so sad.
fear of change.
amazing how the buzzing of those trucks made
my insides buzz......
i came home and dug up a plant i wanted to keep.
replanted it closer to the house. put my hands in
the wet dirt....
it'll be okay, i told the plant....and myself.