i slept bad.
a whole lot on my mind....whirlin' thru and keepin'
this morning when i woke, my face was pushed into
the pillow, my arm stretched out across the bed.
i opened my eyes.
just opened my eyes.
felt my head.
saw my arm.
and immediately thought of her.
she's in ICU.
her surgery lasted 14 1/2 hours.
i can't even imagine.
14 1/2 hours.....
the surgical team had to work in shifts.
i lay still and just thought of how lucky i was.
the stuff on my mind is heavy on my heart.
the kinda thing that would normally depress me.
i rolled over thinking about what we do to save our lives.
what our lives mean to us.
if that's the case, i thought as i got up, then i ought
to pay attention to that.
the house was cooler.
it's raining. cooled down.
i noticed it and breathed it in.
melting in the shower, i decided to pay attention to
it's too easy to dwell on things that are bothering me.
somehow i can't while she's in ICU.
i just can't.
wrapping myself up in my new soft fluffy towel that a
friend gave me, i noticed how soft it was.
it felt soooooooo good.
she had sent it to me cause she loves me.
and it felt like it.
i don't remember ever using a softer more wonderful towel.
putting on my softest clothes, i felt them.
it's a day for gentleness, quiet, and gratitude.
walking out in the rain to put the mail out, i soaked in
the gentleness of the drops.
felt the warm smoothness of the street on my bare feet....
i'm not in ICU.
my bad night's sleep woulda been a picnic for her.
i do love my life.
and it is worth fighting for.
i'm gonna hold that again today.
in a quiet thanksgiving....