a quiet thanksgiving

i slept bad.
a whole lot on my mind....whirlin' thru and keepin'
me awake.

this morning when i woke, my face was pushed into
the pillow, my arm stretched out across the bed.

i opened my eyes.
didn't move.

just opened my eyes.
felt my head.
saw my arm.
and immediately thought of her.

she's in ICU.
her surgery lasted 14 1/2 hours.

i can't even imagine.
14 1/2 hours.....
the surgical team had to work in shifts.

i lay still and just thought of how lucky i was.

the stuff on my mind is heavy on my heart.
the kinda thing that would normally depress me.

i rolled over thinking about what we do to save our lives.

what our lives mean to us.

if that's the case, i thought as i got up, then i ought
to pay attention to that.

the house was cooler.
it's raining. cooled down.
i noticed it and breathed it in.

melting in the shower, i decided to pay attention to
gratitude today.

it's too easy to dwell on things that are bothering me.

not today.

somehow i can't while she's in ICU.

i just can't.

wrapping myself up in my new soft fluffy towel that a
friend gave me, i noticed how soft it was.

it felt soooooooo good.

she had sent it to me cause she loves me.
and it felt like it.

i don't remember ever using a softer more wonderful towel.

putting on my softest clothes, i felt them.

it's a day for gentleness, quiet, and gratitude.

walking out in the rain to put the mail out, i soaked in
the gentleness of the drops.

felt the warm smoothness of the street on my bare feet....

i'm not in ICU.
my bad night's sleep woulda been a picnic for her.

i do love my life.
and it is worth fighting for.

i'm gonna hold that again today.
in a quiet thanksgiving....