i've mentioned it here earlier.
how life has just been pokin' at me.
i really don't remember a week like this before.
seems like every time i turned around,
out of the blue,
something else was pokin' at me.
yesterday hit the final straw when i got a note i really didn't appreciate.
i thought 'WHAT IS THIS?!!'
i answered kindly but firmly.
and spoke my truth.
that always feels empowering to me.
i guess cause i lived enough of my life where i didn't.
so that always feels good now.
and i told myself i wasn't doin' business with people
which was a big deal as they were a source
of some good income for me.
'i don't care' i thought.
i'm not doin' this.
the money isn't gonna take me down.
i'm gonna do what feels right.
i knew it.
i meant it.
and i knew i'd be fine.
that in itself was really empowering.
turns out there was a misunderstanding, he wrote back
and apologized and that all smoothed itself out.
and i really don't care one way or another.
which is way cool.
in the meantime, my deciding that i wanted better in
my life turned into something powerful for me.
i have a TON OF GOOD.
just a ton.
so the not so good stands out.
and i've been thinking about it.
it's been a lotta years building my life here.
and i've only been growing.
i really am growing and changing.
and there will be changes that need to be made as i go along.
the early building i did will have to change.
will just have to.
and then all the other changes life brings......
it all has to happen.
and i want it to happen.
i want to have growth.
i'm headin' into my 50th year.
life seems to be changing for me
and i've been feelin' unsteady and fragile.
well, wait a minute.
i closed my eyes and thought about it all.
i had a visual of a land slide...
like a mud slide kinda thing.
the mud sliding over rocks down a hill.
that's what my life feels like right now.
just slidin' along.
well.......heck..........what if i kinda go with it???
all these poking things.......they're helping me see who i am
and helping me refine exactly what it is i want in my life.
they're helping me clean my gutters.
and that mud slide???
it doesn't have to be so scary where i feel so fragile.
it's my chance to go with that flow.
and my chance to know that i can and will land into good things.
and that the debris and clutter can and will be cleaned out.
and that that is a really good thing.
i'm puttin' out to the universe....i'm okay with this.
i'm on board.
i will flow with it all.
and i'll pay attention and clean out and move on as i should.
and now i have a visual of me ridin' the mud, and slidin' along....