Sunday, February 12, 2012

for nancy

she died last year.
and it's been one i haven't wanted to hold.
we weren't  'close' in any regular way.
but she touched me and her heart changed me
and i just haven't wanted to hold it.

but they're finishing her book for her. and putting submissions
of friends in it as well.

and so this morning i finally sat down and just cried about her passing.

i didn't know i would.
but i should have guessed.

it was a spontaneous thing.
i've been meaning to write,
and this morning i just didn't feel like starting up all the regular
work and digging right in. i wanted to be quiet.

i watched one hand grab a piece of paper and saw the other
one hover over a pencil and a pen. it picked the pen and i watched.
and i sat there and thought of her. and i began to write.
and cry.

because she was loving and kind and talented and sooooo beautiful.
and if anyone flies with the angels, she does. and i hate it that we lose
each other. i really do hate that part.

for nancy.....

'gentle, kind and generous, you opened your heart to me.
when i admired your talent and your being, you smiled and
reminded me of my own worth.
and somehow, i believed in it a little bit more because of you.

and now, i picture you among the angels, showing them beauty
in a way even they have never seen.
and i know you are everywhere there is color.'


Susie Keeth said...

Some people see more than just refracted light in the rainbow’s colors and more than just sunlight in the white light around them; they see rays that represent different ways that angels work in their lives. By thinking of certain angels according to colors, people can focus their prayers according to what type of connection, communication or help they’re seeking from their angels.
According to color therapy.... and as you likely well Know, being an artist.... colors are capable of influencing many aspects of our lives, including our mood, mental state and energy level. Each color is thought to be associated with one of seven energy centers, or chakras, in ayurveda. If a person's chakra is thought to be out of balance or weak, the color it's associated with is believed to help strengthen it.
I'm thinking that Nancy.... being an artist herself.... is full of colorful messages for you, Ter. Can you hear her sending words, love, hope.... all in the bright beauty of every color in the rainbow? I think that's what our Angels do for us if we listen close.... if we open ourselves to feel and communicate with them. That's what my experiences tell me.

terri said...

a little teary here, susie. thank you.

Merry ME said...

"you smiled and
reminded me of my own worth.
and somehow, i believed in it a little bit more because of you."

That's what you do for me, my friend. Funny, how sometimes we get it all on our own, and others we need to see it through anothers eyes.

I don't think it gets much better than flying with the angels so Miss Nancy must be in a good place.

terri said...

thanks, mar.....