Saturday, March 10, 2012

healing music

i hadn't realized how much i had been keeping in.
and how much had really been going on inside of me.

which is saying something because i knew i was keeping a lot in
and i knew a lot had been going on inside of me.

maybe what i didn't realize was how badly i needed someone
to come and touch those spots inside of me.

but it didn't take long to realize.

i sat at her event last nite listening to her.
it only adds that she's one of my best friends, i know her heart
and soul and we share our struggles together.

that only added to the power.

she started singing, and i started crying.

at first it was just the occasional tear and then they were
running down my face. and then at one point i really thought
i might have to just leave and go into the bathroom.

she was touching everything that needed touching inside of me.

josh was sitting in front of me and turned around and looked when
he heard this big snuffle come out of me. oh man. i was tryin'
hard to be quiet. but it was hitting deep and moving everything
around that had been stuck.

and then she did a special song, unexpected, and for me.
the inner child song that i actually use sometimes to work on some
healing stuff.

yeah. well, you can imagine.

but i tell ya's like little terri finally felt noticed.
it's like everything inside of me finally felt seen and heard.

and i had no idea that was weighing so heavily on me.

sometimes i try to just hold this stuff, deal with it and 'handle it'....
and i'm not sure we can ever really do that by ourselves.

and then music.....there is something about it that just slips into
those cracks inside us...and i had so many cracks inside me last nite.
it slipped right in, loosened everything up and completely soothed me.

if you haven't listened to this amazing singer gotta go hear her.

and if you've been trying hard to hold it all together on your own -
at the very least, go put on some music that will open you up and tumble
your inside walls down. it truly seems needed.


Paula said...

My cracks love Adagio de Concierto de Aranjuez by J. Rodriguez.

Brigitte / La de Ojos Azules said...

Reading this through my tears, I realized, for the millionth time, how true your words always are for me and how deeply they go to touch things I didn't know I was keeping in either. Your great love and open heart has helped me immensely recently; while reading this post, I think I felt what you were feeling while listening to your friend sing. Thank you for that :)
Luv ya, B.

terri said...

i will have to check it out, paula!

and bigitte! that's SO cool!

Susie Keeth said...

Hey Ter, It was really something to come here this morning and read about cracks. It is strange and so Sacred...this Kindred stuff. I had a chat night before last with moon and she talked to me at length about being "cracked open". I think that would have been the same night that you was listening to your friend sing and noticed your own cracks. Maybe moon was speaking to both of us that night.

terri said...

way cool, susie.....way cool.

and you know what??? you need a blog!!!!! ohmygosh! i gotta write you about that!