if i'm makin it up anyway...

i had a fun thought yesterday -

it was pretty much this - if i'm gonna make up stories in my head,
why don't i make them into good ones?!

yeah.
that was it.

it came about this way.
there's someone who's just on the edges of my life who i don't think likes me.
so every interaction or non-interaction between us, in my head, gets read
thru the lenses of she doesn't like me.

and that fuels ick.
cause then i get defensive or negative or just icky.

so yesterday it occurred to me.....
i'm makin' it all up anyway.
i don't know a thing.
i've never talked to her about it, never asked her about it.
i just get the feeling.

so what if i operated on a completely different story line.
that she likes me just fine.
if she turns her head and doesn't talk to me and walks away,
why don't i go with something like 'oh, man, she was so busy,
she couldn't talk to me and i know she feels terrible cause she
loves to talk with me. i'll send her some love cause she missed out
on us sharing and i'll be sure to smile and be warm and friendly
next time i see her.'

i just laughed out loud when i thought of it.

cause, yeah, i know it's not true.

but the thing is, all the other stuff i make up isn't true either.

so what the heck.

and it's a safe enough place i can try it. it's far enough away, it doesn't
matter, and close enough that i can experiment with it and see what
happens.

if nothing else, it's the first time i've had a genuine good positive laugh
with her in a thought probably ever.

worth a shot.....