it was an hour drive home from the funeral.
gives ya plenty of time to think.
i kept the music and the radio off.
just wanted to be with my thoughts.
i asked myself what i'd want said at my funeral.
and it was a mish mash of a two parter.
the first thing that came to mind was this -
'terri cracked open her ribs and lived with her heart wide open.'
that's what i really want said with sincerity.
so um.......like i'd better pay attention to that.
cause if that's what i want, then i want to do it with all i have.
i do pretty good.
i know that.
but you know how it goes, there's always room for improvement.
and i wanna move in on that improvement.
stop the darn stupid hiding.
that kinda thing.
believe in myself more.
so the shifts that have been happening inside of me lately -
the stuff about accepting myself more and that kinda stuff,
well it got even more exciting as i drove along.
because i know that stuff will head me more in the direction i want to go.
and the other thing will sound weird at first.
hopefully it will make sense when i'm done.
'when terri was a jerk, she eventually caught it and adjusted herself.'
'jerk' is my word i use for people who don't realize the feelings of others
and i swear, my lesson lately is i'm not as innocent as i think i am when it
comes to hurting others.
let's face it, it goes with the territory of being human.
i get that.
but the more aware we are, the less likely we are to do it.
and sometimes i'm just not aware.
as soon as i become aware, i adjust myself.
and that matters a ton to me.
even if the other person has no idea i've adjusted anything,
as long as i know i did, that's what counts to me.
i spose that could be reworded to something like -
'while a little slow on the uptake sometimes, terri eventually would see
those around her and act with love.'
those two things.
that's what i'd like said if i could pick.
and i smiled as i drove along.
cause it certainly puts everything into perspective, doesn't it?
i'd suggest it for everyone -
figure out what you'd want said,
and then go make it happen.
here's to the gift of being here today.
here's to making it all we can.