Thursday, May 1, 2008

"oh my god"

i rarely ever say 'oh my god.'
it's my catholic upbringing....
when it comes out of my mouth...
i really mean it...i'm talkin' to something beyond me.

it just came out.
just now. a minute ago.
i haven't even finished thinking this thru.
came to type it out.

sitting here writing bone sighs about realeasing
control. allowing life to happen. giving up the struggle.

and i just thought of some bible quote...
isn't there something jesus says about if you lose your
life you gain it???
oh something like that......you know what i'm talkin'
about.

and i get it!
i just got what that thought means!
or could mean!

you can't hang on to this stuff. you can't control life.
you can't make your life right, their life right, anyone's
life right. you gotta let it go.
but you gotta do more than let it go....
you gotta give it away.
you gotta give it away to trust.

you gotta just know it's all okay and give it away.

and when you do that.......
THAT'S when you really feel alive.

when you struggle you're tense and stressed.
when you stop strugglin' you're fatigued and worn out.
the life energy isn't rollin' thru.

but when you sit in trust....and know it's okay...
that's when you can finally feel alive.

when you give it away.......
it's when you get it.

yet another yin yangy thing.
i'm thinking this is big.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

hey there terri,
i collect quotes.... have them posted all around me here by my pc... i feel them deeply; some prick me, some change me, some challenge me in every way you can imagine, some are still just beyond my reach of understanding but i still know to save them.

thot i might post a selection of the texts you may be thinking about.

Mt 10:39 "He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.
Mt 16:25 "For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.
Mr 8:35 "For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel's will save it.
Lu 9:24 "For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it.
Lu 17:33 "Whoever seeks to save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it.
John 12:25 "He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.
(NKJV)

(Bible is one of those things that the more we learn about it the more we learn the more we can learn more about it!)

here's a quote i thought of while reading about 'not controlling life' from your post here:

"Life is not the way it's supposed to be.

It's the way it is.

The way you deal with it is what makes the difference." Virginia Satir (family therapist pioneer)

i think, in my soul, i hear your thoughts transforming into a greater understanding about loosing my life... 'thru trust'...i 'let go'
and connecting these pieces with the earlier post, that i commented about; loving without needing to feel vulnerable b/c we have complete trust in that person/Being... that would be my feeling like i am 'sitting in trust and knowing it is ok'

whew, this is BIG! and always interconnected with parts already in the works of knowing for me.... thanks for adding to my growing understanding of self and how i work... you send 'sparks' i can really use to light my journey!

what a light you shine!! ~==)^)

lovingly,
~still

terri st. cloud said...

thanks for all the quotes!
i knew you'd know what i meant!
:)

you've got me thinking about vulnerability....i think you gotta have it...but maybe it depends on exactly what we mean by that word!
more food for tought...
and maybe a blog in my future!
thanks for taking the time to post, lady! i appreciate them!