gold in the effort

i scooted out this morning for my walk.
my gosh, what's it been - three years since
my last one?!

i went out back, got the recycling and
as i walked around front with it, i looked
up at the sky.

just smack dab overpowering me was the feeling
you'd get when you were a kid and you'd go
to the playground and you'd find you had it
all to yourself for a little bit! you'd gasp
and want to run to every single piece there
cause it was all yours and you didn't know where
to start first! the see saws?? the slide?? oh my
gosh, the swings!

that's the feeling i had lookin' up.

i swear i feel like a darn sponge sometimes just
soakin' it all in as fast as i can. i can't get
enough fast enough.

i realized how much these walks mean to me.
how much bein' with the sky affects me.

it's like an addiction, i thought.
i so want it.

and yet.....i realized it's not like an
addiction. cause i have those. i have a sugar
addiction that's crazy.

i'm always watchin' that and aware of that
and tryin' to control that.

with the sky.....i forget.
i could honestly get sick for a month, stop
taking my walks, and then start to think i
don't need them. nah, i'll skip that today. don't
need it.

i can so see myself doin' that!

hmmm.....i kept thinking about that....

seems like it's that way for the stuff that
does me good. things like taking time for
myself. doin' something nice for myself.
cooking myself healthy dinners.

all things i love to do and matter a ton to
me and all things that get put aside for
other things.

it's not like an addiction at all.
it's actually hard to hold on to them!

while it's not hard to hold on to that sugar
addiction of mine at all. it's hard to let it
go.

it's the good for me stuff i gotta keep workin'
at. and yet i love them so.

well, that just plain sucks.
sure would be nice if it was the other way around.

altho.....i don't know..
somewhere in the bottom of all that is a good thing.

making the effort to do them does kinda make them
valuable. does sorta add something to them.

which is a great thought this morning as i restart
my new year!

there's gold in the effort too.

and that part i forget.

think maybe i'd better write that one down for
myself.

there's gold in the effort.
and my gosh, is there ever gold in what you get
from the efforts!!!

like my sky!