shatterings

ah man.
she called sobbing.
just sobbing.

her heart was broken.
as anyone's would have been with the
story she told.
i listened and the tears came to my eyes.

i could just imagine how much her heart hurt
right now. and there was nothing i could do.

just listen. and tell her it so totally sucked....
and then leave her be.

man, that's hard.
honest to pete i want to fix the world sometimes.

when she said 'i'm never doin' this again.' i knew
she meant it from the depths of her soul.

and i wonder what will happen with that feeling.

not too long ago i thought bob wanted to break up.
he didn't. but i thought he did.
and i remember the feeling.
it didn't creep over me. it slammed into me.
'i am never doin' this again.' i thought.
i remember the feeling.
slam. it was so strong.

and sometimes i wonder....
if we really don't make it....
i really wonder if i'd ever do it again.
and no, i'm not positive i would.
i honestly don't know.

so when she said that, i didn't immediately dismiss
that as just hurt. i heard it as we just really
don't know, do we? and her trust is so incredibly
shattered.

shattered trust.

oh man.
that is such a huge huge thing.

the shattering made me think of another call i got
some years back. someone who knew bone sighs more than
me called one nite when her world was shattered.
she lay such a horrible story at my feet, i just
didn't know what to do.

i remember hanging up the phone thinking what on
earth does she do now? where does she go?

and that's the night i wrote 'splinters'

'she built her cathedral from the
splinters of her shattering.'

i remember sitting there asking the universe
what in the world did she do now?

all she or anyone of us ever can do....

we rebuild.

over and over again.

we rebuild.

and if we're aware....we do way more
than rebuild.....
we build our cathedrals.